Everything is Yours (revised)

Back in October I put a video together in honor of our little Ruby Jean.  At that time we didn't know what the outcome would be for her life and so as an act of obedience I posted the song "Everything is Yours"  Since then, she left us to be with our Creator and Father of the Universe!  So small and perfect in our sight, she is whole in Heaven a lovely work of art.  Jim encouraged me to change the ending to fit our story so I am posting my revision.  If you know someone in the midst of losing a child whether unborn or years old, please have them listen to the words of this song, it has truly helped me get through some sad times.

It's Sunday morning 5:15 am,(EST) Jim left for church (yes I know) and I couldn't go back to sleep.  I thought of the song on Ruby's blog so I got up to listen and found Cristin's post. She shared details I hadn't heard and the pictures we weren't in. God's timing is best, His plans perfect. But I still wish I could have been there.  I love Ruby's little picture, but I too look forward to meeting her in Heaven.  To see the light in her eyes, the joy and laughter of a sweet girl who is, as Cristin so said so perfectly, a sinless and wise soul.  She will always be with us and someday she will greet us with those who have gone before us.  Hand in hand I will picture her approaching with my Grandpa, my Dad, skipping along with Grandma...I will keep these pictures in my heart and hold tight to the peace God has given me and our family through this season.  My favorite season of the year, fall, so rich and warm in color, so full of the scents of home and crisp air, Ruby will forever be my "Little Pumpkin" She will forever be a part of my autumns in the future.

I am so grateful for my girls, for the testimony of Cristin and John's life, the compassion of friends, and the grace of God to strengthen and comfort Cristin and John in a way that has touched so many.  Their continued and growing faith has and will forever change lives to further God's Kingdom.  They are amazing and courageous beyond their years as well as mine.  I love you guys so much!!! Thank you for sharing your heart in your post. Momma Nessa

If you would like to read about their journey these last five weeks, you can read their blog for Ruby at  rarerubyjean.blogspot.com   Be sure to read in September's list "If You Want Her To"  and if music touches you like it does me there is a family blog posting of some timely songs called harrellology.blogspot.com the posting is called "Music that Heals" on Sept. 17th  John and Cristin are wonderful writers that express their hearts and lives so honestly. It will touch you deeply, get a box of tissues...I know I'm a little partial, but let me know and them if impacted your life, your walk as a believer in Jesus Christ...it sure helped me get through this knowing their faith was strong and that they have been surrounded by His peace and comfort.

Well the call came this morning, Ruby is gone.  Her life so brief, yet so precious and meaningful.  There is loss and grief, but we trust the Lord with His plan for her and our lives on this journey.  He planned her, He created her for a time and purpose and we are grateful for the growth and experience.  He never wastes pain and suffering, He has a plan we can't always see, yet we trust in Him.  Please pray for John and Cristin and the boys as they go through this season.  This Grandma's teary and sad, but I know that I will come out on the side stronger and richer in my faith and trust in my Heavenly Father.  He has taught us all so much through this and will continue to do so. 

Here is a picture of a little pumpkin I bought a couple of weeks ago.  I bought it because it is a pretty Ruby red pumpkin it is a reminder of this October's journey with our little Ruby Jean.  It is about the size she is, it is a soft velvet texture, it represents her name and it's stem is broken, which is like our little Ruby, beautiful but broken in this world.  But now with her Savior she is whole, perfect and surrounded by love.  We will have to wait to see her perfect little face, to hold her little hand and to meet the sweet little creation she is.  I will hold to the picture of my Grandpa bringing her by hand to meet me for the first time when I reach Heaven. I picture with her Daddy's large eyes, green like her Mommy's and with her Mama's big dimples and freckles.  I see her playing baseball with Daddy and rolling in the grass with her brothers.  I see her reading and crafting with her Mommy and singing at the top of her lungs with the family..."He loves us, oh how He loves us...."  I know I may never see these images for real, but I will cling to them until get home....

New Video

Well, I've been feeling a little uncreative lately so I felt like doing another video.  Today at church the choir sang a new arrangement of For the Beauty of the Earth and had asked me to do a power point for it.  It was ok, but the lighting was washed out a few times.  I'll need to use lighter pictures next time.  But thought I'd try posting my new video "T'll I See You" a song by Hillsong, let me know if you like it!

So Much Change

Wow, it's been a long time since I've posted anything, and so much has changed.  We are in Kentucky and we are enjoying the area-beautiful, and the people-fun and gracious.

My heart is torn to be here too.  On September 12, I received a  call I was so not expecting.  Cristin, 21 weeks pregnant, went in for an ultrasound and it was her first so she took sister, Corban and her boys.  While taking a look, the technician found an irregular heart beat that resulted in another appointment that afternoon at another facility.  There seemed to some problems with the baby that needed further tests and a consult with a geneticist and a cardiologist.  Well, two days later she and John were at another appointment that included an amniocentesis and talking to a top infant cardiologist from UCLA and they determined that their "Baby Girl" may have a chromosome issue called Trisomy 18 or 13 which in layman's terms...she may not survive the pregnancy and if she does she wouldn't last longer than a year.  Tears...we were so wanting a girl this time and as most Grandma's I looked forward to a healthy baby no matter the sex.    

God is good all the time.  This has happened to many families before, it will happen again.  God can do a miracle and that's what we are asking for Him to do.  But His plans are best and we will accept whatever that might be for our sweet Ruby Jean.  Accept and give Him praise no matter how broken we feel.  It's not a question of why, but why not.  When there seems to be no hope is when God can show Himself to the world.  So if only through our response in all this, Ruby's life will make a difference. We all have dreams, hopes, things we hold tightly too, or expectations for futures...we may never see these come to fruition, I am learning to let go, these things may never have fit into His plan for my life, because everything is His.  Here's my latest video.  One for my little Ruby, and our family.

 

Wow...We're Going to Kentucky

OK it's been a while since I've posted anything...but since my last post.  Jim has been asked to serve as Intentional Interim Pastor at Erlanger Baptist Church in Erlanger Kentucky.  Where's that you ask?  Well, go to the most northern point of Kentucky, where you can look across the Ohio river into Cincinnati Ohio...there's a cluster of small towns that fill in that point and Erlanger is there.  If you fly to Cincinnati, you land in Erlanger.

Now, decision making time.  What will happen with our house.  To say we're behind, well lets say we never caught up after Jim's heart surgery, followed by three months of unemployment.  How about the cats, and what to take, what to store, what do we not need any more!  Jim went to Idaho for a week to see his parents, who are slowing down gradually from progressing age (almost 80.)  He has a week to get ready for Kentucky.  Packing, sorting and storing things that are his, he will be a busy fella next week.  Some things will be hard to determine until we know about the house situation.  If we keep it, then we can make choices on that road.  The other road means a lot more work and emotional upheaval.

Caylynn and I will join him in a month or so after he gets there, so we can take care of things here and so he can get through some of the initial work to be done in Erlanger.  Jim and I will stay until January, Caylynn may return before Christmas to be with other family.  My plan is to come back early January for Cay's BD and to spend time with family before the arrival of our new grand-baby the middle of January.  Jim will plan on coming back after the baby arrives and stay to get a six month check up with the doctors.  

We are looking forward to seeing and living in another part of the country and taking some side trips to visit family roots (Taylors, Browns, in Ohio and Brumages and Martins in West Virginia.)  Then we hope to meet up with our friends (extended family) in Tennessee, they driving up from Alabama.  My sister Jamie is hoping to come up to Kentucky for Christmas with her husband, Kevin.  Who knows what else we will squeeze in, but we already feel blessed by this church.  They have members who have opened their home to us.  They have a nice downstairs living area with a kitchen and master bedroom, there's another bedroom and bath available for Caylynn.  The church is also looking for a vehicle for us to drive (ours wouldn't make the trip 180 thousand miles on both.) 

So here we are on another adventure...we may or may not return to live in Porterville, only God knows.  With Jim's ministry it is like being in the army (God's army) moving and changing jobs and locations.  We are considering the idea of living in a motor home  so we can always have our home with us and travel where God leads us.  So if you know anyone who would like to help us out, let me know.

God is in control, that is the peace and strength I need to carry on.  He will provide for our needs and never leave us or forsake us.  So were good to go!

I Will Follow

This video was really a labor of love.  It started out being a song I love about commitment, but the more I listened to the lyrics, the more I thought about the men and women who have died to serve and care for people in the name of Jesus.  I thought about Nate Henn who worked for Invisible Children and died last year in the bombing in Kampala, Uganda.  I thought about the men (Jim Elliot) who went to Ecuador to bring the gospel to a remote tribe and were killed by them.  Then the sweet women left behind went down to continue their work and many lives were changed. I also thought of the lady from right here in Bakersfield that was a Southern Baptist missionary who was killed a few years ago in Iraq.  I had to include them.

I know there are many more who have been tortured and imprisoned and died for the name of Jesus and it is truly where the rubber meets the road in commitment.
Are any of us really committed to the point of death...do we even think about it?  We know we are living in the "end times" and His return is close, we hope we are ready, we want to be, but what if He calls you to stand firm, stand up against His foes?  Can you say I will be strong?  Can you hold fast to "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength?"  I pray that my relationship with my Father, is so strong and so steadfast that I will close my eyes to this dark world and say "I Will Follow!"

And lastly, it made me think of the dedicated team from U.T.M.I. who are at this minute starting to minister to the people of Kasese, Uganda.  I decided to dedicate this latest video to them, those who are following Him to serve and teach pastors of Africa. To teach them more about the Bible and how to be pastors who will serve their congregations well, as well as drawing closer to their Lord and Savior.   You are an inspiration!

What's Next for the Poorboy's

Well here we are in May already and coming up on the end of another ministry soon.  We are here every year or so and this time it looks like it could be the end of June.  Jim knows that God has a plan, but the one that looked like a good fit and permanent, didn't work out.  It would have kept us in the state and being permanent, would have relieved us from these in between times.  But again, God has other plans so we will wait on Him and continue to trust in His wisdom and timing.

Jim has been approached by two churches, that are out of state, to come do an intentional interim.  One at a good friends home church in Kentucky and one in Hawaii on the big island.  These would be challenges in many ways, adventures, but challenges.  We are open, again knowing that if that is where God wants us to go, we would go.  It would mean leaving Caylynn here and giving up our house and pets, putting everything in storage and moving home base with my Mom.  Challenges all.  Caylynn is determined to continue at College of the Sequoias in Visalia and move in with friends.

Not sure what to do with all the cats.  We really only want to keep two...Nala and Chester, Parker is a little psycho and now has a nervous problem and is licking her belly so much she's lost hair and is getting a rash.  Corban's kitty, Lola, is pretty independent, but we would love for Corban  to take her back.  The stray cats we'll need to take to the pound, but the kittens we are hoping to socialize to give to SPCA.  We had 2 litters born with 11 in total, but since then we lost two from suffocation  (now it's the 16th) have a new litter of five more...so lots to do before we can leave Porterville, if that's what the Lord wants.  Please pray for us and the Lord's direction..that it be clear and without confusion.

Blessings video

Blessings

Here's the latest Richgirl production...Blessings by Laura Story.  Talk about story I saw a video of this on facebook, which takes you to YouTube, and watched other videos...she explains her life and what inspired this song.  So very touching, it reminds me I have so much to be grateful for.  Also, how God sees strength in people, they don't even know until they are in the midst of crisis and dramatic change of life/lifestyle that they can only endure with the Father's help and strength.  We can do all through Christ who gives us strength.  We won't know it unless we step out in faith and follow Him.  This song makes me cry every time it gets to the "this is not my home"  Oh praise God, all the pain, all the trials, all the suffering and weakness' we go through can't keep us here...this life is but a mist and every fleeting.  We go to an eternal home we can't even imagine, but it's filled with a promise of no more pain and suffering, we will be healed from every ailment, every missing limb, every physical or mental limitation...we will be whole!!  I hope this touches you today where you need it the most.

Knowledge and Wisdom

Knowledge is knowing information-it's in your mind

Wisdom is acting and living like you believe it-it's in your heart


Proverbs 4 shares about wisdom and the benefits and promises "she" will provide (so act like you believe- put feet to your knowledge)

If denial is refusing to give validity that your knowledge can change you, does that refusal to act out your knowledge make you rebellious or just make you a fool.

I'm relating this to the book "Forgotten God" by Francis Chan.  In talking about Christians today, especially in the US, we have become fools or rebellious, (my words not Francis'.)  We know the Holy Spirit is one of the triune God, the Trinity.  (Matt. 28:18-20)  We know when we accept Jesus as Savior, that the Holy Spirit comes to dwell in us.  (Rom. 8:9)  We know He has the power of God, (1 Cor. 2:4-5) so why do we not act on this knowledge?  Why, if we have all this knowledge
in our minds...do we not take it to heart and become wise.  We are children of the Most High King, we have the Holy Spirit as our Counselor, our guide and we don't, (fool) or won't (rebel) listen, obey or even acknowledge His presence in our daily lives?  Fool or Rebel...hummm.  It's time to stop living in the coma of complacency and wake up...If we live and act like the world, how will those around us ever see Jesus.

At Your Feet

I've been studying Crazy Love by Francis Chan for a few weeks and I finished this week.  This book has so changed my thought processes and time I spend focused on Jesus.  I know many have already read this as well as Radical by David Pratt, and know we as a so called Christian nation have not been following Jesus Biblically as a whole.  There are a few obsessed, crazy, radical Christians, but they have been few and far between here in the US.  Many have followed Jesus to other countries to share His love and care with those who are seeking without fear of their integrity or a shortened life.  The needs are so great and we are so sedentary in our service...it's time for a change and yet my focus recently is just spending time with Him.  Sitting at His feet so to speak, because that's where I find my strength for today, hope for tomorrow and peace in my unsettled life.  How do you feel about your relationship with your Creator,  your Savior, your Healer, and Comforter?  Do you hunger and thirst for that precious time alone with Him just sitting  and learning from the One who is our All in All?

Joyful, Joyful

I realized as much as I love all the songs I've put to video, most of them have been more serious and stories of encouragement.  I really wanted to do an upbeat and joyful song so.....How about "Joyful, Joyful" by Casting Crowns...I love this album "Until the Whole World Hears" 

While I'm Waiting

Remember through the pain and troubles we have in our lives, God asks us to wait on Him and His answer...during this time we need to keep on keeping on, keep on serving and keep on worshiping Him, thanking and praising Him.

Praise You in this Storm

I love this song and have been planning on working on it for a while.  Here is, I hope a video that gives hope in times of trouble.  He loves us so much and wants us to know Him and understand Him, even when it hurts.  Our suffering is opportunity for growth and experience to help and encourage others.  Thank You Lord...I praise You in my storms!

In the Waiting

This is for anyone dealing with emotional or physical pain and uncertainty.  I love the hope this song gives and that you can find the peace you need in the times of waiting for answers.

Reading My Brother's Blog

Well, here I am again, responding to my brother's blog post and writing thoughts and (hopefully) insights to his post.  This time he was somewhat, questioning his "call" to ministry and this was my response...

I don't want you to think that you are not unique, because we all know you are, but you are not alone in your question of "call" and what that means.  Does it morph, of course it does, because, like Erin mentioned, we are not fully developed and mature at the moment we first hear "the call." 

I know that more than anything for me, it was a moment of complete surrender, to go and follow Him where ever that might be.  I said full-time Christian service...but for a woman that isn't pastoring, and I wasn't wishing to run off to Africa and become a missionary.  Jim is the same, he knows God "called" him but his only reference was pastoring.

I love him and he has many gifts, but pastoring in a church full time is not really where he's gifted.  He's a trouble shooter, he's an idealist, he's a new testament believer, a Kingdom thinker and at times, constraining him to the day in and outs of the "local church pastor" are limiting and frustrating for him.

He is a teacher, not that he can't preach, he can, but explaining and conveying ideas and illustrations for communicating God's word is what, I think, he does best.  I also know, that didn't come naturally, speaking was a struggle at first. Experiences aren't wasted, God uses the good and bad to build you into the person He wants to use.  Jim has become an amazingly insightful and discerning man full of wisdom when it comes to church health and  ministry.

It really is our devotion to God that makes the "call" clear. God uses us differently throughout our journey, we fill in gaps and pick up the slack. We open up to different ways of ministering to different kinds of people, old, young, piers, and sometimes to "church" and sometime to the world. He just wants us to take "one day at a time" devote it totally to Him, looking for opportunities to serve and glorify Him.  If it leads to a position in a church, great follow Him there. If it's living and working in a secular job, great, follow Him there.  But if your "call" is to full-time Christian service...that's you, where you are, devoting yourself daily to see, do and reach out to share His love and hope with a dieing world. 

Remember, even missionaries aren't just missionaries anymore, they have to have other jobs too.  Many times it's being an undercover agent for Jesus.  It's living and working with the people, building relationships and showing their concern, before even mentioning the "hope and peace" they have in the Creator of the Universe. 

Just do today what He wants you to do...look for where He is at work and join Him...(Blackaby)

Having a "call" on your life isn't always a clear and unchanging ministry.  And just because we aren't a "pastor" doesn't make the "call" any less real or serious.  Follow your passion, use your gifts and be open to the Holy Spirit in the small acts of kindness and love.    

OK do you have 10 Minutes?

OK I mentioned how Francis Chan's book, "Crazy Love" inspired me to produce a new video on Genesis 1 Creation....so here it is.  It's about 10 minutes...great pictures of some of the amazing creatures and Hubble shots of our universe....enjoy and let me know what you think!

How Great Is Our God

Hey, everyone!  If you feel a little small in your world, watch the following video and see how small we really are.  I've been on a journey that has lead me to a refreshening of my faith and relationship with my Lord.  It started with realizing just how little joy I felt in my spiritual walk.  I asked the Lord to renew my joy, and as always, He answered my prayer. 

First my friend, Jennifer, said she was reading Crazy Love by Francis Chan.  Well, I had heard of it and thought Jim may already have it, yes he did!  So she was explaining just how much she was enjoying it, so I asked Jim for it and he said he should read it too.  Now both of my older daughters had read it last year and encouraged us to read it, but I'm not much of a reader and I kind of forgot about it.
Then with Jennifer I thought I better start reading. 

Well, I have to say it got me so excited...I was so in agreement about what Francis was saying...loosing the "Awe factor" of God... I had just mentioned to the ladies in our Bible study that week that we don't have the reverence for God, the King of Kings.  We don't know here in America what it is to have a King to be a loyal subject and show our honor, loyalty, and devotion.  We are independent and bow to no one. 

So I read the Fear chapter, I watch the websites, videos for chapter 1 and the "Awe Factor" and get inspired to produce a new video of Genesis 1-Creation.  I watch many Francis Chan messages on the internet early on Sunday morning before church...I can't wait to get to church.  Then pastor speaks on this very subject and uses Francis Chan as a reference because, he too is reading Crazy Love.  WOW!  Jennifer's enthusiasm has spread and it became the spring board into a joyful new walk with Jesus. 

One thing was mentioned and I find true, that there is a great lacking in the way we do "church" in US.  Not just "traditional" churches, but in "contemporary" ones as well.  We go on Sunday mornings, sing, pray, listen to a message and go out to lunch, or whatever the usual routine might be.  We think church is for Sunday, maybe Wednesday night and a Bible study somewhere in there as well.  We are the church and if we are not out in our world sharing Jesus's hope and love and peace with friends, neighbors and strangers in the community, we are not doing church.  "Come to church" to hear the message is not enough, is not Biblical.  READ ACTS AGAIN!

Well, in the midst of this many others are seeing, reading, questioning, the same things, How can I make sure I'm serving, sharing and making a difference in my world.  There is a movement...I want to be ready for what God is doing...I want to think Biblically, I want to be missional.  New terms and yet old ideas...2000 year old ideas...GO YE THEREFORE....remember...go isn't across the world, although that's a great way to serve, but go is right here, right now, across the street, in the store, at school....where ever you are, you are the "church" the temple of the Holy Spirit! 

Be amazed by your Creator...be humbled that He loves you, you speck, you vapor!  I have been so full and so humbled these last few weeks...I love my God, my Jesus, and I want to make a difference. " How can I keep from singing Your Praise!" 

Watch this video, it's one in a five part series, shared at a Chris Tomlin concert.  If you have the time watch them all, I couldn't stop.  When you get to part four...all about our human bodies that HE created....it absolutely blew me away! Tears streaming down my face...I'm just a speck...I'm just a vapor, yet three times He said to me "I love you, I'm listening"  Banana pudding, champagne grapes, a week away....He reassured me, He brought me delight and warmth and He is my Abba Father.  The Creator of the universe...Loves me!!!!

Louis Giglio: How Great is our God Part 1

We Are All Ministers

Reading my brother's blog again and though my response was short, it is so true.  My wonderful husband has been battered over the years by "Well Intentioned Dragons"  The people of a church that cause so much heart-ache and destruction, by their "concerns."  They feel they have the right to say hurtful things to protect their friends or family members.  This "emotional vomit" is exactly why more "professional ministers" are leaving the ministry.  My response to Matt's thought of ministering where he is, was:

"Ooooh!  Yes, why is it that if we aren't pastors or missionaries, we think we aren't ministers?  What a glorious place to minister, when there is no financial reward for doing it!  We are changed in our thinking and treatment of people when there are financial strings attached. Strength of character tells us to say or do one thing, while our fear of rejection and support tell us to stay quiet!  Although I feel more "comfortable" sharing with those who know the Lord, that is the comfort zone that He asks us to leave, so we can share with the ones who need His hope, love and grace.

Everyday is an opportunity to minister, if only by example and a 'lifestyle evangelism.'" 

We can't only minister by lifestyle, but it's a start.  Look around you today, see what opportunities God is at work doing, be observant and speak up or be active and meeting needs around you.  We are all ministers!

Yikes, blogging?

OK, I've been reading my brother's blog.  I love hearing his thoughts and insights about his journey in his Christian walk.  I find myself relating and then sharing my thoughts and insights...silly me, three or four paragraphs later...I should be doing that on my blog.  So, as scary as that can be, (sharing yourself, openly) I thought I'd share some of my responses....

He was sharing about faith and have tenacity in your faith.  Great thoughts and then this came out of me...

It's funny, I am a planner about somethings, but with direction and "waiting," not anymore.  As soon as we plan something, God laughs.  He knows the outcome of these plans and we give Him credit for things He wants nothing to do with. 

We have filled our lives with "stuff" because we've been told (by people we don't even know ie. advertisers) that we need it. Stuff fills us, as well as our homes and time, with things that pull us away from what God really wants for us.  A simple, child-like faith that follows after Him without question or fear.  A love that wants to love Him back, to please and serve Him, just as a child does for their parents (when they're little anyway.)

We are people who are easily influenced by trends, people, and circumstances and forget the real priorities in life.  I love the faith I've grown into and I am still growing.  When Jim had his heart attack and surgery, I really had peace, I wasn't fearful of the surgery or what our future might be, I had peace. I wanted to share that with others in the hospital.  I thought about what if, (Satan always plays this game with us) and I was at peace.  Then I second guessed myself, thinking "does it show a lack of love and concern for Jim, that I'm not worried or scared?"  I thought-No it's God's peace.  He's in control and He's the one that decides if Jim's life will continue here or with Him eternally.  I can't do or change anything...so I have peace. I need to share this with people.  Why do we worry and fret and literally make ourselves sick over things we have no control?  I see this worry and concern about the world and all it's problems...we have no control of any of it.  We should be focused on the people around us, do they have hope and peace in their lives?  Ok I need to stop preaching to the choir...we all have ups and downs in growth...it's an adventure this life we live.

So, I guess I want to share too.  I just need a topic and even then I don't always stay on task, hey I like rabbits too!

Found a New Organization I like!

I love helping when I can and it isn't much these days, but "Skip1.org"  is one I can afford.  We all can. It's premise is that we can all skip something, a specialty coffee, a lunch out, a new shirt.  You get the idea.  I skipped Taco Bell for lunch the rest of February.  I figured at four lunches and aprox. $5 ea (that would include Caylynn's I would pay for.) So I sent them $20. They take whatever you normally would have spent...even a pack of gum for $1.25, whatever.  So check it out, again it's   skip1.org I think you'll feel as great as I did knowing you're feeding the homeless or children in a third world country.  V

Proof of Life Video

We had some funny messages from friends on facebook about Jim and his recovery.  One was doubting that Jim was really getting better because Jim's profile picture was still the one of the first week after leaving the hospital.  You know the one with him in the recliner with his blankie, the tv remote and his cup of tea.

 So I took a picture to prove he was better, losing weight and actually alive!  Well, the picture wasn't enough...what if that was an old picture, (nothing with a date on it) 



So Jim wanted me to put together a video of friends and family we visited after his surgery to prove he's alive and well.  So here it is:

Jim's September Event 2010-Heart Attack

Many of you know that in September Jim had a heart attack and a quintuple by-pass surgery.  I didn't even know you could have a quintuple 5, I had only heard of quadruple...I guess because I think of four chambers of the heart that there were only four arteries involved. This is the story from my perspective and memories, limited and distant as they are now!

On September 19th, Jim finished up his time with Paso Robles Community Church (P.R.C.C.). Their new pastor was officially there and this was his first Sunday.  We left with happiness for them and tearful for us as we had to say good-bye for now to dear friends.  But as a consolation, we were headed up to one of our favorite places for the week, Genesee Home.

Genesee is a retreat home for ministers and missionaries and their spouses.  This would be our third visit and the warmest one so far.  It would be a long from the central coast of California to the northeastern part of California.  It is in a little town of Taylorsville in the valley of Genesee just south east of Mount Lassen.  We were planning on seeing some old friends along the way and were looking forward to a time of reflection and renewal for us as individuals and as a couple.

On our way up, we stopped for lunch with our friends the Gertner's.  Luke and Rebecca had just had their third child and we wanted to see this sweet family

We arrived at Genesee around dinner I think.  Settled in, well we had been double booked, oops.
We were able to choose another room since there were only ourselves and one other couple.  So, this is now our next favorite room.  We were pretty tired so we went to bed fairly early.

 We had a great week, Jim always spends time in the prayer barn, early riser that he is this is where he retreats in the mornings.  It has a great view of the valley and is so warm and cozy.  Then there is also a extensive library to choose any number of wonderful books.

The Prayer Barn

The Library

Jim was also out biking and hiking 2-4 miles almost every morning! Beautiful location to enjoy God's creation and renew your spirit!   

We also got some time to drive up to Antelope Lake and have a picnic...







well, until the attack of the killer chipmunks...

They were very aggressive and brave.  Jim actually had to go out on the rocks to get away from them! People have obviously been feeding them.

Jim relaxing in the hammock

We were having a great time until Thursday morning before breakfast, Jim started having some discomfort in his right shoulder and neck.  He went down stairs for a while to rest then came back up and took a short cat nap.  He felt fine but decided to stick close to home, so we hung out in the hammock and played Sudoku.

out on our hike

No other pain the rest of the day...wonderful evening and then another great nights sleep.  Then it was Friday and time to pack up and go.  Jim was running all the luggage down and packed up the Jeep.  We had a picture taken and ate breakfast.  Then we climbed in the car said our good-byes and off we went.

 About ten minutes down the road Jim started having those same pains...only now it was also in his jaw.  I told him I should drive, so we changed places and headed down towards the junction.  We headed further down the hill and the he said that the pain was not subsiding so when we came to the fork in the road, we could go down 70 miles to Oroville or 10 miles to Quincy.  Fortunately there was a Highway Patrolman parked there at the turn so we went to ask if there were a hospital in Quincy and he said yes and asked if there were a problem.  Jim told him he was having chest pains.  He said he could call an ambulance, but we figured we could be there before they could get here and take him back.  He gave us directions and off we went.

We found the hospital by following an ambulance and looking for the hospital signs.  Jim got right in and hooked up.  They gave him nitro and some he started feeling better.  I made some phone calls to let our friends the Jarboes know we were at the hospital.  We called Genesee to let them know we may not make it down the hill and might need to stay another night.  After a while he was feeling normal and the e.k.g was normal, there was nothing to indicate he was having a heart attack.  They did take a blood test and when that came back, it said his enzyme level was elevated and he had had an event several hours ago. The test only shows what has happened much earlier, there's no way of knowing what was happening just an hour or two ago.  Meaning what was on the results were from the day prior, which was milder than today.  It was at that point the doctors confirmed Jim needed to go down the hill for better care. 


          So came the next adventure...Chico or Reno.  Well, that was easy for us because we have friends in Oroville and Paradise just a short trip from Chico.  But we were officially unemployed with no insurance, I could hear the $$$$ adding up. When they mentioned helicopter, I kept telling them....NO INSURANCE.  They said it was our only option because they had no idea how extensive the damage was or what might happen next or how soon.  So they order the helicopter and I waited...many asked if I was scared. No, I was still in shock and wondering how we were ever going to get out of debt.  Selfish I guess, but I knew Jim was in God's hands, he looked good and I couldn't doing anything about it anyway.  Why worry when Master of the Universe is in control of your future.  (That means $$$ too, Vanessa)  Our original Dr prayed with us before he left for the day.  We so greatly appreciated that, another reminder of God's presence and control.  So here's the helicopter...the highlight of the event for Jim...but worth the price?

Wheeling Jim to the copter

lift off

This was great for Jim he hasn't had a ride in a helicopter for many years and he got to be right up front with the pilot...

The helicopter ride was $24K at least that was the last estimate we received.

Jim arrived 30 minutes later, me I drove down the river and it took me 90 minutes.  When I arrived he was all hooked up to monitors and drips and his angiogram was scheduled for the next morning at 9am. Our friend Curt Jarboe came and stayed,  then our friends Kevin and Andi Skinner came.  Once visiting hours were over Curt took me home for the night. His family were so sweet and concerned and took great care of me.

Then in the morning Curt and I were off the the hospital for the test. Curt's father had just gone through this the previous year so Curt was well acquainted with the procedure. I got settled in the waiting area and was getting people caught up on Jim's condition online. Then about 30 minutes later the nurse came out and was telling us what we should do next...a little confusing until she asked if the doctor had been out to talk to us.  I said, no and she said she couldn't say anymore until he did.  Sure enough a few minutes later out came the cardiologist with the news....Jim had extensive blockage and would need by-pass surgery.  There were five maybe six blocked arteries and they needed to go into surgery immediately.   I started  packing up my stuff and then they rolled Jim out to go and prep him for surgery.  All I could say was "Wow"  I looked at Jim and he said the same thing...we were pretty much in shock.

All I could think of was why had there been no prior symptom?  Well, here's what happened.  Jim had found out a few years ago that his blood sugar was higher than it should be and that if he lost weight and exercised he could keep it under control.  Diabetes...well he did lose weight and changed his diet to the Atkins for a while.  He lost about 20 lbs and was walking occasionally.  Then he slipped back into certain patterns.  Although he was using Splenda and sweeteners and low sugar items...his carbohydrates picked up again.

 Then back in August I was so sick and at one point they wanted to check my blood sugar. We had a monitor at home so we did check mine and it was 126 after a meal that morning.  Then Jim checked his and his was 276, at that point he new it was time for a change.  That's the thing with diabetes, it sneaks up and damages your body quietly.  Because it damages your nerves, you don't feel pain.  Hummm.

Well, once we had the news it was time to tell everyone and get the prayers started.  I called the girls, our friends here in Paradise and as many family and friend I could.  I was a little nervous, but again I knew God was in control and that He wasn't done with Jim.  I did wonder if He was to take him home, what would I do.  Again, I wasn't worried, I knew I was in God's hands and that our futures were already planned.  I know there might have been thought as to whether my calmness was due to trust and faith in the Lord and great reputation of the hospital.  Or if some may have thought I didn't worry enough or show concern enough.  But my hope is in the Lord and even in this crisis, I trusted the Lord's plan.

We gathered in the lobby of the hospital (their designated waiting area) There were Curt, Kevin then Andi and then their pastor's wife Joanie Hamilton showed up with refreshments.  I got a call from Cristin saying that she, John, Corban and Caylynn were all coming.  Then later Glenda Jarboe came and relieved Curt so he could take a group of kids to a youth activity from church.  I felt so blessed and the conversations were so fun, getting caught up and sharing and getting acquainted with each other.  It kept my mind busy and there were prayers, it was wonderful for me. 

The liaison nurse came out periodically to keep us posted on Jim's progress.  After six hours he was being rolled into recovery.  It would still be a while before I could see him.  The girls had decided to come up together so Corban joined Cristin and John in Valencia, then they drove to Visalia on the 99 to pick up Caylynn (thanks Stella.)  John and the girls had a long drive and unfortunately Corban was supposed to be leaving for Paris the next day.  The timing was so off for her and trying to make a decision was over-the-top stressful.  She decided to check with her travel agent and she would able to get a later flight from Sacramento later after knowing her dad's condition.

I think I went in to see him in ICU around 5 or 6pm.  Things are a bit of a blur, but I know the kids got there later after visiting hours were over.  It was probably 9:30 or so, then they took turns going in to see Jim.  Unfortunately, he was still out.  They were supposed to have him up and sitting that evening, but they didn't.  So the kids saw him unconsciousness and all hooked up to machines...pretty overwhelming.  After the visits, we went home with the Jarboes and stayed the night.    

Glenda and Curt Jarboe

In the morning, they still had not taken him off the respirator and they said we couldn't really see him until after 1pm.  Wow, I was really wondering what was up with that.  But it gave me an opportunity to go to church with the Jarboes and worship.  It was a wonderful service and I felt God's presence all around me.  We left from to church and went back to the hospital.  We still had to wait.  When we finally saw him, all he could say was "I hate that tube,"  "I really hate that tube."  It was hard for him to talk but he looked so much better than I expected.  From that point on he progressed and did everything right on schedule.  They would tell us what to expect each day and that's exactly what would happen.  But he was up walking as much as they would let him, doing laps around the ICU, then they moved him to the next level and he'd walk laps around the entire floor.  "You can't keep a good man down."  John, Cristin and Caylynn went home on Monday.  John needed to get back to work.  Caylynn wanted to get the house ready for Dad's home coming.  Corban made arrangements to fly out from Sacramento on Tuesday morning so she stayed with me the rest of the day on Monday and we stayed with the Hamiltons.

Joanie and Gary Hamilton

Day 3 Corban & Jim

Corban's  flight was early, so getting her to the airport was a point of discussion. But then we were told that there was a shuttle from Chico, so she got the info and I took her to the pick up station.  It all went off without a hitch. She got to Paris then London and had a great time.
I spent the next few days with the Hamiltons, they were wonderful!  Added bonus, it was a shorter drive because they actually live in Chico vs. Oroville.

Day 5

Jim improved well enough to go home a day early, which I was not ready for.  We had decided to stay with the Skinners the week after being released from the hospital.  That way we could spread our love to each family without imposing for too long.  There were things to get ready for him to stay at home and the Skinners again, did a wonderful job of helping with this.  Jim needed to be where he could get up easily...a recliner.  I needed to be close enough to hear him if he needed anything at night...they moved a queen sized bed into the living room, not an air mattress, a box spring and mattress!  Amazing!  There were the meds to pick up and they weren't at the hospital, I needed to get my stuff from the Hamiltons, get his meds and get him home before he was too tired to sit up any longer.  Kevin, bless his heart took on the hunt for the pharmacy and picking up the long list of medications and paraphernalia Jim needed.  It was crazy, but it worked out!  Praise the Lord for amazing friends...Here are the Skinners and their adjustments they made for us.

Kevin and Andi Skinner

the Skinner home

Jim in the recliner...TV remote and tea 

here's the queen bed they put across the hall for me      

These wonderful people fed us and took great care of us for 9 days...we couldn't have asked for more.  We saw Jim's endocrinologist, his heart surgeon and the cardiologist before we left October 9th. Jim was doing great and  healing well.



The Lord blessed us so much through all of this He showed us why there was no job lined up for Jim after finishing at PRCC...he couldn't have followed through with it after a heart surgery.  We couldn't have qualified for Med-Cal if he had been employed.  (And thank you California for paying the bills for this expensive event in our lives.)  He showed me why I was so sick in August...if I had not experienced the sickness from meds, nausea, food tasting so bad, smells getting me sick, not being able to care for my needs like getting up and down from sitting or laying down and exhaustion....I could not have been the  nurse I needed to be for Jim.  I understood all the reactions and feeling helpless.  He showed us we were to totally depend on Him and His people.  He showed me when I was sick, the little things to let me know He was there and taking care of not just my needs but the little wishes like banana pudding, champagne grapes and a trip to refresh at Genesee.  He gave us the perfect place to be taken care of for not just one week at Genesee, but also at one of the best hospitals for cardiac patients and then close to great, godly friends who showed us Christ's love through their lives and sacrifices.  What a great God we have who knows the big picture and has us in the palm of His hand.  Who or what could I fear.

Jim is back at work at Niblick Road Baptist Church of Paso Robles.  He's been there since the 1st of January and will continue through at least April as their interim pastor.  He is challenged in different ways as an "interim" and not as an "intentional interim."  I am planning on going with him a couple times a month and giving him the attention he needs.  We are both trying to eat better and exercise more.  Safe to say he's doing a much better job.  He's lost about 25 lbs since the surgery and me?  Well, nothing.  Please keep praying for me too!  We are considering starting a nutrition and weight loss class...he needs to be the spokes person for diabetes and heart disease.  He's almost 57 and he could have been dead but for the grace of God.  He is alive and seeking what the next thing God wants for him and our family.

Here we are at Ventura  Harbor

Just remembering what we used to look like, LOL

Here's a video collection

I thought I'd post a few more of my videos.  Please let me know if enjoy them.  I know I need to change them up a little, they tend to be a little too similar.

This was a gift to my friends at First So Baptist, Porterville, because it has many faces of the children and grandchildren  of my friends.  The song is called "My Father's Heart" and shares the Love God has for us his children.  I put it together for my friend Ashley, because as talented and gifted a singer she is, she gets nervous when she does a solo so I did with her background CD so she could sing with this playing behind her.  It helps to take some of the focus off the singer and on the video.  Great idea Ashley.

The next one is "While You Were Sleeping" and what a message of the numbness and lack of awareness we have had through the ages.  America is lulled by it's comfort and selfishness into a dangerous sleep that will be it's death if we don't wake up and pay attention.  This particular one is on wealth as our distraction, but also did one on sports and leisure showing how preoccupation with sports can pull us away from focusing on God and the hurting world.

This one is called "Revelation Song" now a Christian favorite on the radio, it's message is strong and clear about Christs return. our Holy Lamb of God, the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. How He deserves our everlasting praise and awesome worship!

Have ever had a big puzzle with like 1000 pieces or more.  It's so challenging to put it together but when it's complete, wow, so amazing!  Now have you ever found a puzzle piece all by itself, not one you've seen in a while and you just have not idea with what puzzle it belongs.  Well, that's the premise of this next song.  God knows the big picture all we get is one piece at a time.  It's so hard to see what our lives will look like it's a mystery until God puts our pieces together to make a wonderful Masterpiece:) He gives "Meaning to this Mystery."

This next one is a touching song of how precious it would be to have lived and been part Jesus and his life here on earth.  "Wish" takes you from infancy to resurrection.  Do you wish you had been there when he took his first step, walked on the water, fed the 5000+ and died for you?  Or to be so heart broken that watched his death, but then meet him three days later on the road? Enjoy this heartfelt song, "Wish."

This one is a fun, up beat but has a great message about getting so caught up in the frustrations of the day we forget to remember to count our blessings!  "This is the Stuff" is a great reminder!

This is the last one for this post.  It was a fun song by Kristin Chenowith that Caylynn and used to sing in the car to.  "Taylor the Latte Boy" does bring joy and laughter.  Listen to the words, forgive the repetitiveness of the pictures.  It was a little tough to find a large group of baristas.

Well here I am after a few years...I thought I'd use this more, but facebook has been my communication highway of choice. I have a new hobby/ministry that I wanted to share with anyone who cares, that is music videos. I love music and I have always heard songs and thought I could just picture images to go with it...so here I am hoping to post them here as well as on facebook.  This is my latest one called "Lead Me to the Cross" by Francesca Battistelli: